Jokes, Poems, & Stories


Fictitious Units of Measurement

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1012 Microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
100 rations = 1 C-ration
2 monograms = 1 diagram
1021 piccolos = 1 gigolo
1012 planes = 1 terraplane
3 dents = 1 trident
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
2 x 103 millenaries = 4 seminaries
10-5 dollars = 1 Millicent
1012 antellas = 1 tarantella
109 antics = 1 gigantic
102 tics = 1 hectic
10 aides = 1 decade
10-1 mal = 1 decimal
10-3 female sheep = 1 milieu
2 doctors = 1 paradox
100 Senators = Not 1 decision

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Random Quote
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


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