Jokes, Poems, & Stories
| Bumper Stickers |
| · Dain bramaged · Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway · Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel · Boldly going nowhere · CAUTION - Driver legally blonde! · Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends · He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged · Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window! · How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost? · Axe me about Ebonics · CATS The other white meat · Don't be sexist - broads hate that · I'm an imbecile and I vote · Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch · If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now · Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! · WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition · Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ***? · If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! · Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. · You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you! · Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. · JESUS SAVES...He Passes It To Gretzky...Gretzky Shoots...He Scores! · You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT · Save Your Breath...You'll need it to blow up your date! · Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. · Grow your own dope, plant a man · All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets · Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. · I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. · WANTED Meaningful overnight relationship. · BEER It's not just for breakfast anymore. · I need someone really bad...Are you really bad? · Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. · All men are idiots....I married their king. · The more you complain, the longer God makes you live. · IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got. · Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. · Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. · Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. · Hang up and drive. · Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. · I took an IQ test and the results were negative. · Where there's a will...I want to be in it. · It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. · We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse. · Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. · Consciousness That annoying time between naps. · Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? · Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home. · Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else. · Honk If You Want To See My Finger · 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park. · If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy. · I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. · Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! · Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G? · Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. · If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. · My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her ... or something like that. · EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later. · Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot. · If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people. · Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. · God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. · Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. · Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! |
