Jokes, Poems, & Stories


Alternate Motto's for The States Comprising The United States

· Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
· Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
· Arizona: But It's a *Dry* Heat
· Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
· California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
· Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
· Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
· Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
· Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
· Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
· Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum But Leave Your Money)
· Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well OK, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Good
· Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
· Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
· Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
· Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
· Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
· Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
· Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
· Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
· Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Some Tax Brackets)
· Michigan: First Line Of Defense Against Canada
· Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
· Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
· Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
· Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else
· Nebraska: At Least The Cows Are Sane
· Nevada: Strippers, Lounge Lizards, and Poker!
· New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
· New Jersey: You Want A @#$%&! Motto? I Got Yer @#$%&! Motto Right Here!
· New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
· New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
· North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
· North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
· Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
· Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
· Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
· Pennsylvania: Acceleration Ramps - What's That? Civil Engineers - Who Needs Them!
· Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
· South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
· South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
· Tennessee: The Educashun State
· Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles
· Utah: Our Snow Is Better Than Your Snow · Vermont: Yep
· Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
· Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
· West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!
· Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
· Wyoming: The nation's best beef cattle. Watch where you step

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Random Quote
A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.
- Chinese Proverb


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