Jokes, Poems, & Stories
| One Liners |
| · Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? · I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! · "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." · Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. · I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar. · The gene pool could use a little chlorine. · C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit. · We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. · Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. · Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake! · Did anyone see my lost carrier? · Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. · I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! · He who laughs last thinks slowest! · Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. · Give me ambiguity or give me something else. · "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!" · A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. · Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at maths. · Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue. · There's too much blood in my caffeine system. · Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. · Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! · Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. · Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I. · Double your drive space - delete Windows! · What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free? · Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. · Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. · I used to have a handle on life, then it broke. · Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. · I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. · Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. · When there's a will, I want to be in it. · Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? · Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. · We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? · All generalizations are false, including this one. · Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. · "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. |
